Episode #35: Word Choices
When I talk about word choices, I’m talking about small changes in the words I use to shift the way I think about my life. Even though these may seem like small, incremental changes, they demonstrate a transformation in moving from a position of victimhood to a position of opportunity and energy.
I was thinking about “work” the other day, and I realized that I wasn’t excited about doing it. But this is the business I created for myself, doing the things I love doing! So I sat down to think about why I wasn’t excited about my business.
I tend to use, if I’m not intentional, victim words:
- I have to….
- I need to….
- I got to….
I realized that when I say these words, it comes from the place of not having a choice in the situation. Instead I want to create abundance, lightness, and fulfillment. I talk about the words I shifted to in order to reframe my opportunities into a place of positivity.
When I started asking myself “What would I like to say to myself?”, I shifted to the word “opportunity” instead of the word “work”. This started to create the lightness I need to get things done every day.
Why not choose ownership words that help you?
Your Call to Action:
- Listen to the way you talk to yourself internally.
- Listen to the way you talk to others.
- Decide how it makes you feel.
- Decide if you want to start changing them.
- Do what you’re choosing to do.
Hello and welcome to episode number thirty-five of the Strategy Corner, where our goal is to get you to take action. I’m your host, Michel Zink, the owner of Intentional Solutions Corp. In today’s episode, we’re talking about the strategy of word choices and noticing how they affect your energy, productivity and zest for life. I know zest might be a little bit dramatic, but I think word choices is one of the best strategies to implement in your life in order to feel better. And when I talk about word choices, I’m talking about small shifts in words that we use that affect the way we feel. So I noticed this recently when I was thinking about my day.
It was a couple weeks ago I was sitting in my car and I can’t recall what I was doing, but I was thinking about, oh, I have to work today. I need to work on this. I need to work on that. And I realized that in that moment, the word work wasn’t feeling so great. It was feeling really heavy. Oh, I can’t do that because I have to work. Right, because I have to work. And I just noticed that in that moment, I wasn’t feeling positive, positive about a company that I created, positive about the opportunity that I’ve created. Positive about living into my dream, positive about I’m so excited to have the opportunity to actually do this and to work on building a company. And so I realized in that moment that my word choices were really not aligning with what I felt like. I did feel excited about doing things that I had scheduled throughout my day. I did feel excited about creating and being in a place that I had created for myself. But the word choices I was using were not working and were not appropriate for the result that I was looking to create. Right. Because in my day, I want to create abundance. I want to create lightness, I want to create fulfillment. And if I’m coming from that place and I’m feeling those things, things just flow better. And there’s always gonna be some resistance. But I do know that in the end I’m doing things and I’m focusing on things that are important to me and my company. So in that moment, I realized that just, oh, I’m sorry, I have to go to work or no, I can’t because I have to work, wasn’t working for me. And so I started to ask myself, well, what words would I like to use? How would I like to say what I’m doing for the day? And I came up with an idea of if someone asked me, well, what are you doing today? I get to say I have the opportunity to work on my dream. I have the opportunity to create amazing things in my company.
I have the opportunity to work on areas that I choose to work on. I have an opportunity to create. So looking and seeing, we’re just singularly the word work and then phrasing it around, oh, I have to or I need to or I’m sorry, I can’t, but I have to work, wasn’t creating that lightness that I need to actually get the things done in my day. There’s so many things in the world. There’s so many out external things that can bring us down. I didn’t want my word choices to actually do that for me, right? It’s like I was intentionally sabotaging my day. And I realized that that’s not helpful. And so I decided to look at the words that I used. And what I noticed was that I tend to use if I’m not thinking about it, if I’m not intentional about it, I tend to use with victim words, write victim words. Being a victim means you’re not in charge. And the words that I tend to use are I have to I get to I need to. Anyone had this experience where I need to go to work. I have to attend this production meeting. I got to pick up my child from school. I got to go talk to my boss. I have to get engaged with an employee. I need to hold a staff meeting.
So when you say those words, you’re coming from a place of not having an opinion, not having an opportunity, not having a voice in this situation. And these words will create heaviness, negativity and it will have you come from a place where you don’t even want to be, where you say you have to, you’ve got to or you need to be. Then I realized what words I started thinking create ownership for me. And these are the words that I came up with. I get to, I choose to, I want to. So when someone says, hey, I’d really love for you to attend this meeting, I can say, well, thank you, but I get to work this afternoon and I get to work on a couple great opportunities or projects so I can’t attend. But thank you so much. That might be a far fetched, but that’s the example I thought of. Or I choose to. This is a big one for me too, with even exercising instead of thinking, Oh, I have to go to Pilates today. Oh, I have to go the grocery store. Oh, I have to. This I think I choose to work out today. I choose to go to Pilates, even if I maybe not feeling it, I choose to. Comes to healthy eating, I choose to decide ahead of time what I’m going to eat, because I know that if I decide ahead of time, my choices are gonna be better. I want to like I want to work. I want to get up in the morning. I want to journal in the morning. Like I already do it so why would I use the word I have to? And then create this heaviness. Why wouldn’t I use the word I want to? And then see what amazing things unravel from there because I’m coming from a better mindset, a more abundant mindset.
Now, this slight shift to change in the words we use, will help us to gain more energy, connect with others right? Because when we connect with others, we’re showing them how they could be in the world as well. If you’re going around saying words of I get to, I choose to, I want to, people around you are going to be like, well, I get to, I choose to, I want to, right? That energy is positive. It’s flowing. What do I want to choose to do today? What do I want to do? What do I get to do today? Like these are exciting things. Same with if I’m going around saying I have to, I need to or I got to excuse me. Let me say that one more time. I have to. I got to. And I need to. When you start spewing out those victim words, then you get other people to mimic what you’re speaking. So then they’ll start saying, I know I have to take my daughter to the magic game tonight to have her sing the national anthem. That was me yesterday. And then I realized, wait a second, I have to. That sounds really negative. When really I get to like I get to take my daughter there and I get to hear her sing on national television. When has that ever happened before? I mean, maybe it happened to you, but I’ve never had this experience before. Well, except last year. But anyway, I haven’t had this experience and my daughter might not have this experience again. How if she doesn’t want to do chorus next year. So I realize that when I say I have to, I got to and I need to, it brings down my energy and it allows, and it also not allows, but it also shows people the way that they can act, too. And in a world again, where were around everything, or in a world where we have choices, why not choose the words of an owner and then leave the victim words behind, right?
Why do we have to say, oh, I need to do this homework with my child. I have to go to work? Right. I have to go to work. Well, no, you don’t have to. You could actually stay home if you wanted to. I know it sounds crazy, but in reality, you could do whatever you wanted to do. So you could stay at home. So when I say that to you, like, no, no, I want to go to work. OK. You do? Yeah. I actually like what I’m doing. Wonderful. So instead of saying we have to leave for the house in the morning instead of saying, I have to go to work, say I want to go to work and I’m going. See you guys later. Right. Because why not choose positive words? Why not choose ownership words to get us through the day? We already have a lot of things going against us when it comes to energy levels, when it comes to different things that we get pulled into. Like especially if you work in an office and people are always asking you to be maybe, you’re really good problem solver. So people are always in your office asking to solve problems, which is amazing. You can again choose to help them solve problems. Or you can, I have to solve problems. No. You choose to. You’re really good at it. Right. So why not decide ahead of time that we want to live in and we want to level up to more of an older mindset?
So your challenge today or excuse me, your call to action this week, it is a challenge, is to listen for how you talk to yourself, right, internally, even if I’ve talked a lot about external talking. But even internally, you’re thinking, I’ve got to make this dinner. I don’t want to, right? I rather just sit on the couch as opposed, and then when you hear that in talking to yourself and you feel that energy just deplete from yourself, you could turn that around. You can go ahead and stop right there in your head. Say, no, I’m choosing to do this tonight or I’m choosing to order out or I want to go out to eat. I’m going to tell my family that. So you need to your call to action this week is to listen to the way you talk to yourself and then listen to the way you talk out loud and just start noticing. Start noticing what you say and then how you feel when you say it. Start noticing when you say, I have to, I get to, I need to, and how you feel. Start to notice when you say I get to, I choose to, I want to, and how you feel. That’s all you need to do. You just need to notice. And then you just need to decide. Do you want to change the words that you’re using to speak to yourself and to speak to others? And why? Why do you want to do it? Do you want to create more positivity in the world? Do you want to create a day where you might? I mean, realistically, 50 percent of the time we’re sad, 50 percent of the time we’re happy. But do you want to spew the negativity in the world or do you want to be more positive and decide ahead of time that you want to be the positive force in the world?
Positive force for yourself. Positive force for your family. Positive force for your employees. Positive force for your company. That’s your choice. You get to choose. So I’m asking you this week your call to action, number one, listen to the way that you talk to yourself. Number two, listen to the way that you talk to others. Number three, decide how it makes you feel. Listen. See how you feel when you say those words. Number four, decide if you want to start changing them. And number five, do what you’re choosing to do. Choose different words to make yourself feel better. But only if you want to, because you have a choice.
Now, I would love for you guys to go on i-Tunes, Stitcher, Google Play and subscribe to the Strategy Corner. Also, if you could leave a review on i-Tunes, that would be amazing. That’d be really awesome. Go to my website, IntentionalSolutionsCorp.com and sign up to get my weekly blog post, which also has a link to the latest podcast. Until next time, remember: through action and growth, progression happens. Let’s take action together. Thank you and create an amazing week.