Episode #53: Space to Process
I’m all about the human connection right now, and today I’m going to focus on the strategy of giving yourself space to process. I’ve talked about how to take time to listen to the people around you, and I’ve shared some different ways you can use curiosity to get to know why people do what they do. Today I’m going to focus on why taking some space to process your feelings, thoughts, and emotions can help you connect better in your relationships.
Recently, I had a lot of stress in my life from personal and professional problems. And when I finally got the news, I wasn’t less stressed; I was still frazzled. Listen carefully to how I stepped away so that I could reconnect with my family.
You always have the opportunity to step back when you’re:
Your Call to Action: Be curious about yourself. Figure out when you need some space. See how you can connect at a higher level once you’ve given yourself some space.
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Hello and welcome to episode number fifty-three of the Strategy Corner, where our goal is to get you to take action. I’m your host, Michel Zink, the owner of Intentional Solutions Corp. Today’s strategy is all about giving yourself space to process. That’s right. We’re all about the human connection in the month of August. And today’s episode is all about space to process. I know it sounds very counterintuitive because the other strategies that I shared this month were all about listening, which means you’re in front of people, all about curiosity, which means you’re interacting with people and connecting. And then this time we’re all about space to process. Space being by yourself. It sounds very counterintuitive, but it’s exactly what you need in order to connect with people on a higher level. I’m reading this book right now in one of my leadership groups, it’s called Everything is Here to Help You by Matt Kohn. And one thing that I read that was just so amazing was it was talking about like when you’re feeling frustrated, when you’re getting irritated when you’re saying things to people that might be hurtful.
I know I’m the only one who does this right? No. I know you do it, too, right? You’re in the kitchen, you’re making dinner or maybe you’re, you know, sitting at your desk, you’re doing work. Someone walks in or again, you’re in the kitchen making dinner and your child walks up and ask a question. Whatever the case may be and you just snip at them. Right. You just say something like, no, I don’t have time right now. Now’s not a good time. Not in a way that’s nice and like, oh, so nice to see you. Right now isn’t good. You’re just irritated. You bark at them and then later you think, well, that was very nice. And one thing he talks about in this book is that when you have those situations where you get frustrated, irritated. It just means that you need space. When I heard that, I was like, no way. That’s all I need? And so now I utilize this to realize that in order for me to connect with people more, I need to have space to process. And I’ll give you an example. It was just last week and I had a lot of things going on personally and professionally that were on my mind.
And I had been waiting on some news about something and got the result I was looking for. But just realize that that evening that I like leading up to this result, I was looking for at a lot of stress going on, a lot of worry, a lot of overwhelm. And when I got the answer, I thought, well, I’d be relieved and feel confident and feel good. But the reality was I was just exhausted. And so that night when I was making dinner, I did exactly what I was talking about. I barked at my husband, at my daughter. And since I remembered, thankfully, I happened to remember that everything is here to help me from that book. I realize that, oh, this is just an indicator that I’m exhausted and I need to have space to process. So what did I do after we put my daughter to bed? I told my husband I’m going to stay upstairs and I’m going to do what I want to do. And what I did was I got my iPad. I watched the series on Netflix. I’m not a big TV watcher, but a lot of times I decompress if I’m in that space where I’m just overwhelmed and exhausted and feeling frustrated. Taking my mind off of it is helpful. And so I watched the Netflix video, went to bed early like I went to bed. I didn’t just stay up and watch Netflix. I realized I need to go to bed. The next morning, I woke up and I was back to normal. Felt great.
The key here is to realize that sometimes we need space to process. And this could be a situation where you’re at work and employee comes to talk to you and they’re, you know, downloading this big situation that’s occurring. They’re so confused, you know, how to act. And you’re a little overwhelmed with everything. It’s OK to say, let me think about this and I will get back to you. Right. Without just reacting and maybe doing something you would regret next time or not really thinking thoroughly about the situation. You can take notes and then create space to process. Tell that individual that you’ll get back with them tomorrow. Are they available tomorrow at three o’clock? You’d really like to finish the conversation. You always had the opportunity to create space to process. You always have the opportunity to step back and realize when you are just tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, irritated and go for a walk. Right. Step away from your desk. Go to the break room and get some water. You need space to process so that you can connect at a higher level with humans. That’s what it’s all about today, is realizing for yourself when you need a break and doing it so that you can connect higher with yourself and with other people.
And that is my call to action this week. My call to action is to be curious about yourself. See when you need a break, see where you’re frustrated here, see when you’re irritated and create that space or process and then go back into the game, then go back to that employee, go back to that boss, go back to that husband, go back to that daughter, go back to that friend and have the conversation. See how you connect at a higher level when you give yourself space to process. It sounds very counterintuitive, but it’s so important to connecting on a higher level with humans. So just a reminder, I had three things that I shared this month about connecting with people on a higher level. And those three things were listening. And that was episode number fifty-one. The next one was Curiosity, and that was episode number fifty-two. And then I had space to process, which is this episode. So please, if you haven’t listened to the other ones, go back and listen.
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