Do you get upset when your boss gives you feedback?

Have you ever tried to not “react” defensively to your boss when they give you feedback? If so, you’ll know that it’s difficult not to at the moment because your mind is swirling and you are trying to process the comment. So, what do you do? Many people have found success by resisting the feedback and ignoring it. But that doesn’t work. This post will tell you one simple “trick” you can utilize during any coaching or feedback session that will allow you not to overreact and get defensive.

If you’re looking for a sure-fire way to defuse your temper, release the urge to defend yourself, and instead be open to effectively discussing the critique, then you just need to remember these four letters: S.T.A.Y.

That’s right:


Thinking it’s



It is so simple and yet very effective. We want to defend ourselves when we hear from our boss about something they didn’t like because we make it about us and become the big D word…Defensive. You stop listening to the person trying to help you. You stop looking at the individual in the face because you’re embarrassed. You lose the opportunity to truly learn something that can help you in your career RIGHT NOW. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, let’s dive in and learn the technique that will take the negativity out of this stressful situation.  

When you find yourself wanting to lash out at the individual in front of you, remember, “Stop thinking it’s about you,” it will trigger you to think twice and hopefully look at the situation with more clarity and be more open to their feedback. You want to ask questions and get curious about how you can improve what critiques they have, which will allow you to level up and be someone your boss wants to work with and promote.

Now that you know the trick of handling criticism more positively from your boss, you’re ready to have those conversations without worrying about your temper flaring up and becoming defensive. You now have a tool! 

Here’s a video of Michelle tackling this topic! Check it out HERE!

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